Brave, Not Fearless: Closing the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You Want to Be

When I played hockey, I felt like I was living two lives. The “me” on the ice was tough, competitive, ready to go. The “me” off the ice? Honestly, half the time I didn’t know who that was. And trying to keep those two versions straight was exhausting.

Maybe you’ve felt that too:

• The game version of you.

• The real-life version of you.

• And the constant switching back and forth.

It feels like you’re wearing two masks, and neither one really fits.

Here’s what I know now (and I wish I’d known it then):

• Everyone feels that gap.

• It doesn’t mean you’re broken.

• You can actually use it to grow.

Back then, I just wanted to be noticed. To be seen, heard, valued for who I was. I thought that made me weak. Turns out, that’s literally just being human.

But here’s where I messed up: I looked for that from everyone else first. Coaches. Teammates. Even strangers in the stands. What I didn’t realize was I had to give that to myself first.

• Confidence starts when you back yourself, even on bad days.

• Value shows up when you decide to show up as you, not some version you think people want.

• Worth doesn’t come from stats or wins. It comes from being real.

Hockey was never just a sport for me. It was a training ground for life. And life, just like hockey, doesn’t care if you’ve got it all figured out.

So here’s the part I wish someone had told me: stop trying to be fearless. Fearless isn’t a thing. I’ve never met an athlete who didn’t have doubts.

Be brave instead.

• Brave feels the fear.

• Brave feels the conflict.

• Brave shows up anyway.

Inside Edge is for athletes who get that. For the ones tired of playing two different roles and just want to be seen for who they are, not just how they perform.

Journal Prompt: Where do you feel the gap between who you are when you play and who you are when you step off the field (or ice)? What would “brave” look like for you in that space?